TWENTY5

1ST QUARTER OF THE CENTURY DOWN!

I HAVE A LOT OF GOALS FOR THIS 2ND QUARTER, BUT HAPPY FOR ALL I’VE ACCOMPLISHED THUS FAR. CHECKED OFF A LOT OF FIRSTS, INCLUDING VISITING 15 COUNTRIES AND LAUNCHING MY OWN OPTICAL LINE <3 I PLAN TO VISIT EVEN MORE COUNTRIES THIS YEAR AND DROP SOME NEW SHADES, SO STAY TUNED FOR ALL THAT’S IN STORE! WITH THAT, GROWTH AND SELF IMPROVEMENT ARE ALWAYS AT THE TOP OF MY LIST AS WELL. HAVING STARTED THERAPY LAST YEAR TOO, WHICH I CAN’T RECOMMEND ENOUGH! IT’S NEVER TOO LATE AND EVERY YEAR, EVERY DAY, IS A NEW OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO BECOME A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF <3

HOPING YOU’VE HAD A GREAT START TO THE NEW YEAR AND ACHIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SET OUT TO, MUCH LOVE - CIARA HAZEL

TWENTY4

WE’RE BACK N WE’RE BETTER THEN EVER!

I LAST SPOKE ABOUT STARTING ONE OF THE BEST CHAPTERS OF MY LIFE AND WE SURE DID!! TWENTY2 WAS AN UNFORGETTABLE YEAR OF TRAVEL AND TWENTY3 WAS JUST AS MEMORABLE. I VISITED 4 COUNTRIES AND CROSSED A WORLD WONDER OFF MY BUCKET LIST! HAVING SEEN CHRIST THE REDEEMER, FOR MY 25TH BIRTHDAY. I HAVEN’T JUST BEEN TRAVELING THOUGH. AFTER TWO YEARS OF PERFECTING MY FIRST PAIR OF SHADES, FOR MY NEW OPTICAL LINE. I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO LAUNCH IN MAY! SO I’VE BEEN VERY BUSY WITH GROWING MY BIZ AND 3D MODELING AS WELL.

TWENTY3 WAS ONE OF THE MOST PRODUCTIVE YEARS OF MY LIFE, WORKING NOT ONLY ON MY BIZ, BUT MYSELF AND MY RELATIONSHIPS. TWNTY4 WON’T BE MUCH DIFFERENT, EXCEPT I FINALLY HOPE TO LET GO! LET GO OF BEING A PERFECTIONIST, INSECURITIES AND NEED FOR CONTROL. THESE THINGS CONTINUE TO HOLD ME BACK, BUT NOT ANYMORE! I’M LEAVING THE OLD CIARA IN TWENTY3, SO IF YOU KNEW ME, YOU WON’T ANYMORE.

CHEERS TO FOREVER BECOMING THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF! I KNOW THE LAST THREE YEARS HAVE BEEN A JOURNEY FOR EVERYONE AND WE WILL ALL CONTINUE TO FACE ADVERSITIES, BUT HOPING TWENTY4 IS THE YEAR THAT MAKES IT ALL WORTH IT. SO CHEERS TO GIVING OUR BEST THIS YEAR, AND THAT BEING ENOUGH!

“NOBODY’S PERFECT.”

- HANNAH MONTANA

TWENTY22

HAPPY NEW YEARS FRIENDS! WE MADE IT! OH WHAT A TRYING, YET EVENTFUL YEAR IT TRULY WAS. TODAY’S NOT ONLY THE BEGINNING OF A NEW YEAR, BUT THE START OF WHAT I HOPE TO BE ONE OF THE BEST CHAPTERS OF MY LIFE. I HAVE SO MUCH IN THE WORKS AND I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE CONTENT WITH MYSELF AND WHERE I’M GOING. IM SURE YOU CAN RELATE, BUT I’VE HAD A LOT OF DOWNS FOR YEARS NOW, AND DESPITE EVERYTHING, I KNOW MY TIME IS COMING AND THAT MY MANIFESTATIONS WILL SOON BECOME A REALITY <3 I WISH YOU GUYS NOTHING BUT PEACE, STRENGTH AND CLARITY, AND IF ANYTHING, THAT THIS YEAR’S BETTER THAT THE PREVIOUS!

TWENTY1

WHAT A YEAR 2020 WAS. ALTHOUGH IT DIDNT GO AS WE ALL HOPED 4 DOESN’T MEAN WE SHOULDNT AIM HIGH FOR THIS NEW YEAR. I PERSONALLY FEEL LAST YEAR WAS A GREAT YEAR 4 SELF IMPROVEMENT AND REFLECTION. THE PERFECT YEAR 2 TAKE IT EASY AND THINK ABOUT WHO IT IS WE WANT 2 BE, WHAT WE WANT 2 ACCOMPLISH AND WORK TOWARDS BECOMING A BETTER VERSION OF OURSELVES. I KNOW THAT’S WHAT I SPENT IT DOING! WE MADE IT OUT 4 A REASON SO I HOPE THIS YEAR BRINGS YOU ALL NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS, PERSONAL GROWTH AND SUCCESS IN WHATEVER YOU DESIRE <3

TWENTYTWENTY

TO A NEW DECADE. A NEW BEGINNING. THE START OF A NEW ERA! THIS PAST YEAR I’VE BEEN SELF REFLECTING, BETTERING MYSELF AND WORKING HARD TOWARDS MY GOALS. I FACED MANY HARDSHIPS BUT I LEARNED SO MUCH AND FEEL MORE CONFIDENT AND HAPPY WITH WHO I AM AND WHERE IM GOING. EVERY DAY, EVERY YEAR IS A CHANCE TO BE A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF. I’M FOCUSED ON THE VISION AND I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT AWAITS IN THE NEW YEAR. IF YOU KNEW ME YOU DEFINETLY DON’T KNOW ME NOW. I HOPE YOU ENJOY VIEWING MY YEAR AND MY GROWTH. IT’S TAKEN ME AWHILE TO GET HERE, BUT IT’S NEVER TOO LATE. I WISH EVERYONE NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS!

STOP DREAMING!

COMMISSIONED WORK BUILDS YOUR PORTFOLIO. IF YOU HAVE ANY BASIC SKILLS, THERE IS LITERALLY AN ENDLESS AMOUNT OF WAYS 2 BETTER THEM AND LEARN MORE SKILLS ON THE WAY. ONE THING I LEARNED IN SCHOOL, IS THAT BEING ABLE TO USE ANY MEDIA IS A LEARNED SKILL. SOMETHING THAT, WITH TIME, WILL GET BETTER AFTER PRACTICE, YOU JUST HAVE TO START SOMEWHERE. CREATIVITY CAN’T BE TAUGHT, BUT IF YOU HAVE A SKILL THAT YOU’RE ALREADY GOOD AT, THINK OF WAYS YOU CAN MAKE MONEY DOING THAT. IT’S POSSIBLE. WHETHER FREE LANCING FOR OTHERS OR JUST YOURSELF. TO MAKE MONEY YOU HAVE TO SPEND MONEY, SO GET YOUR MATERIALS, PERFECT YOUR SKILLS, AND YOU CAN MARKET YOURSELF TO THE MORE LEFT BRAINED PEOPLE. CLEARLY YOU CAN’T TAX IN THE BEGINNING BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT A PROFESSIONAL, BUT YOU CAN GET THERE ONCE YOU HAVE THE PORTFOLIO TO BACK YOU UP WHEN OFFERING YOUR SERVICES. THAT’S HOW YOU WORK YOUR WAY UP DOING SOMETHING YOU JUST THOUGHT AS A HOBBY.

I JUST BASICALLY GAVE YOU A WAY 2 ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS, BE YOUR OWN BOSS. THERE’S OTHER STUFF IN THERE YOU CAN LEARN THROUGH BOOKS, BUT IT’S THAT EASY. YOU JUST NEED THAT AMBITION N HUSTLE. IF YOU NEVER STOP WORKING TOWARDS YOUR GOALS, INVESTING IN YOURSELF, REMAINING FOCUSED, STAYING DETERMINED, YOU’RE SURE TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD. IT’S NOT GOING TO COME EASY, BUT IT’S NOT HARD TO START LIVING THE LIFE YOU WANT. I DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL WITH THIS IN MIND. KNOWING THAT IF THIS IS THE PATH I’M GOING DOWN, I’M GOING TO HAVE TO PUT IN THE WORK TO GET WHAT I WANT NOW. IT DOESN’T NEED TO WAIT TILL I GRADUATE N AM MORE IN DEBT. I CAN INVEST IN MYSELF AND FOLLOW MY DREAMS NOW. I NEVER SEEN MYSELF WORKING FOR ANYONE OR MANAGING SOMEONE ELSE’S DREAMS. IF YOU WANT TO WORK FOR SOMEONE AND BUILD THOSE SKILLS WITH AN ACCREDITED SCHOOL SO YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH THAT, THEN THAT’S THE ROUTE FOR YOU. WHEN YOU LIVE FOR YOURSELF, N REAP THE REWARDS OF YOUR HARD WORK, THAT’S WHEN HAPPINESS COMES, WHICH IS IN EVERYONE’S DREAMS. THESE R JUST MY THOUGHTS.

SleepComesAfterDeath

IT’S NO SECRET MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES ARE PROMINENT IN THE CREATIVE COMMUNITY, NOR THAT MY COLLEGE HAD A HIGH SUICIDE RATE. THIS, COUPLED WITH ANXIETY, FAKE INDIVIDUALS, PETTY DRAMA, AND BEING OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY, PUT A STRAIN ON NOT ONLY MYSELF, BUT MANY. BEING TOO MUCH FOR SOME, THAT THEY RESORTED TO SUICIDE. IF YOU WERE LUCKY, YOU WERE ABLE TO PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER LONG ENOUGH TO DROP OUT. I HAVE MY THEORIES, BUT YOU ALSO DON’T HAVE TO JUST GO TO ART SCHOOL TO EXPERIENCE THIS.

FOR ME, IT WASN’T OFTEN I HAD DARK THOUGHTS, I WAS USUALLY POSITIVE AND OUTGOING, HAVING PERSONAL ISSUES, BUT BEING ABLE TO MANAGE. THERE, MY AXIETY WAS THROUGH THE ROOF, N I JUST COULDN’T FIND GENUINE PEOPLE TO KICK IT WITH N HELP ME STAY SANE. IT WAS LIKE A BLAST BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH THE DRAMA N CLIQUES N GOSSIP, WHICH WAS MAINLY DUE TO THE FACT THAT BEING OVER THERE, WAS LIKE WE WERE IN OUR OWN WORLD.

YEAH, THERE WERE LIT PARTIES AND GOOD STORIES, BUT IT WAS A VERY RETIREMENT TYPE TOWN, MAKING EVERYTHING SLOW PACED N LIKE YOU WERE ON A NEVER ENDING VACATION. THE CAMPUS WAS ALSO MAJORITY OF SAV, MAKING IT SEEM LIKE YOU WERE ALWAYS IN SCHOOL. IT DRAINED ME OF ALL MY ENERGY MAKING ME FALL INTO A DEEP DEPRESSION, STRUGGLING TO FIND MOTIVATION TO KEEP GOING. THE RULES OF THE SCHOOL WERE RIDICULOUS, TEACHERS WERE RACIST, AND IT DIDN’T MATTER YOUR CREATIVE ABILITY, YOU HAD A STRICT GUIDELINE YOU HAD TO FOLLOW, N EVERY WEEK YOU JUST HAD TO PRODUCE, PRODUCE, PRODUCE. WHILE STRUGGLING, I FOUND 2 GENUINE PEOPLE I THANK EVERYDAY FOR MY LIFE, THAT I ADMIRE AND ASPIRE TO BE LIKE. THEY REALLY HELPED ME REGAIN CONSCIOUSNESS. I THEN MOVED TO THE A FOR MY OWN GOOD.

ALTHOUGH I WAS STILL FIGHTING DEMONS, I GOT AN APARTMENT N FELL IN LOVE WITH ATL, IT MADE ME FEEL ALIVE, N IT WAS BECAUSE OF THE ENERGY. I REALIZED WHAT SAV WAS MISSING AND WHAT I NEEDED TO ENSURE I DON’T GET THAT DEEP INTO DEPRESSION AGAIN. I’M NOT SATISFIED UNLESS I FEEL FULFILLED, LIKE I’M WORKING TOWARDS MY GOALS AND REAPING THOSE REWARDS. I’M STILL TRYING TO MANAGE MY DEPRESSION N ANXIETY SO I DON’T LET IT STOP ME FROM PUSHING MYSELF, EVEN AFTER THINGS DON’T WORK OUT. I DO STILL HAVE A LOT I’M DEALING WITH INTERNALLY THAT I WORK ON EVERYDAY, WHICH IS IMPORTANT. I HAVE A LOT 2 FIGURE OUT, THESE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS.

ART SCHOOL

WE NEED 2 SAVETHEBEES™ I HONESTLY BLAME THEM 4 THE STATE OF MY MENTAL HEALTH. THEY SELL THE POSSIBILITIES OF WHAT COULD BE, BUT PUT RESTRICTIONS. NON STOP CREATING, BUT ONLY WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO, PROHIBITING YOUR ACTUAL CREATIVE ABILITY N CULTIVATING A MACHINE THAT CAN WORK FOR OTHERS. IT’S WONDERFUL IF YOU DON’T HAVE A MIND OF YOUR OWN, BUT CAN PRODUCE. WHERE IT GUARANTEES A JOB IN THE ART FIELD, THAT IS BASED ON THE FACT FOR 4 YEARS YOU BUILT SKILLS ON HOW TO MAKE ART AROUND GUIDELINES, PERFECTING YOUR ABILITY TO WORK WITHIN SOMEONE ELSES VISION. WHICH IS HOW YOU GET HIRED. IT TESTED SOLEY ON TECHNIQUE NOT CREATIVITY. IT ISN’T UNTIL YOU’VE MASTERED THAT, CAN YOU THINK FOR YOURSELF, MAKE YOUR OWN RULES.

WITH THAT BEING SAID, IT’S A HUGE WASTE OF MONEY. I’M IN DEBT FOR 14 YEARS AFTER JUST ONE YEAR. YOU SIMPLY CAN’T TEACH CREATIVITY AND IN TODAY’S WORLD IF YOU HAVE THE AMBITION AND HUSTLE YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING. THERE IS NO LIMIT TO WHAT YOU CAN DO IF YOU JUST TRY AND DO IT. YOU CAN WORK ON ANY SKILLS YOU HAVE OR NEED ON YOUR OWN, WITHOUT WASTING YEARS OR A LOT OF MONEY, OR CREATE WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE WHAT YOU LACK. IT IS STILL A GREAT NETWORKING TOOL, BUT WITH SOCIAL MEDIA, YOU DON’T NEED TO BE IN A CLASSROOM TO MEET PEOPLE OR CONNECT WITH THEM. WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT, IT’S ALL BASED ON YOUR PORTFOLIO WHICH YOU CAN BUILD IN OR OUT OF SCHOOL. IF YOU’RE A YOUNG ENTREPRENEUR DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME LEARNING TO WORK FOR SOMEONE ELSE, INVEST IN YOURSELF AND YOUR DREAMS. THIS IS JUST MY THOUGHTS.

SOCIAL MEDIA

A MENACE 2 SOCIETY. IF YOU’RE SOMEONE WHO IS A PROCRASTINATOR, THEN IT’S GREAT FOR THAT. IF YOU MAKE MONEY OFF IT, THEN IT’S USEFUL. IF YOU HAVE A LACK OF SELF CONFIDENCE, INSECURITIES, N DESPERATE TO GROW UP SYNDROME, THEN IT’S NOT THE BEST. I HAVEN’T HAD FACEBOOK SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL, BUT I’VE GONE BACK N FORTH FROM USING INSTA AND TWITTER FOR A COUPLE YEARS.

I LOVE TWITTER. AS OF LATE I HAVE DELETED IT TO REGAIN REFOCUS, WHICH IS WHY I CONTINUE TO REMOVE MYSELF FROM SOCIAL MEDIA. IT IS A HUGE DISTRACTION FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME, AS IT MAKES ME ANXIOUS ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER. TWITTER, HOWEVER, IS MY FAVORITE BECAUSE YOU CAN TAILOR YOUR FEED TO BE NOTHING BUT FUNNY STUFF, MOTIVATIONAL THOUGHTS, VISUALLY APPEALING AESTHETICS, POLITICS, OR JUST ANY N EVERYTHING YOU LIKE. PEOPLE SAY ITS VERY OPINIONATED BUT THAT’S ALL BASED ON WHO YOU FOLLOW N WHAT THEY POST SO IT’S REALLY ALL IN YOUR CONTROL.

I’VE HAD INSTA DELETED FOR A LONG TIME, IT’S OVERWHELMING TO ME. YOU SEE PEOPLE LIVING THEIR BEST LIVES, INSPIRING FIGURES AND POSERS ALL AT ONCE N IT’S HARD TO DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN REAL AND FAKE, DISTORTING YOUR REALITY. IT’S ALL ABOUT THE LIKES. IT’S BETTER TO JUST BE FOCUSSED ON YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU GOT GOING ON, VS SCROLLING THROUGH OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES N COMPARING WHERE YOU ARE TO WHERE THEY APPEAR TO BE. I DO BELIEVE IT IS A GOOD TOOL TO MARKET YOURSELF N IM STILL TRYING TO FIND THAT BALANCE SO I CAN USE IT TO MY ADVANTAGE, BUT ALSO NOT BE DISCOURAGED. THIS IS JUST MY THOUGHTS.

WELCOME MESSAGE

THANK YOU 4 COMING! WHAT YOU SEE HERE, IS ME. NOTHING FORCED, NOTHING STYLED, NOTHING STAGED. THIS IS ME JUST LIVING MY LIFE. IT’S HARD, I’M STRUGGLING, N I KNOW I’M SO FAR FROM PERFECT, BUT I’M REAL N AM TRYING MY BEST, WHICH IS ALL THAT MATTERS. I WANTED A PLACE I COULD BE NOTHING, BUT MYSELF. I’M NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING, BUT TO SHOW EVERYONE CIARA HAZEL. EVERYDAY I’VE BEEN WORKING TOWARDS BETTERING MYSELF, SELF REFLECTING, N TRYING TO REMAIN FOCUSSED AND DETERMINED. IT’S BEEN A JOURNEY GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE I FEEL CONTENT W MYSELF, NOW IT’S ONLY UP FROM HERE!